That Moment Before Walking in to Ask for a Raise

*Alright, deep breath.*

Smile. No smile. Serious. Not serious. Stern. Friendly. Casual. Formal. What’s the in between?! Does my hair look okay? Do I have anything in my teeth? How does my t-zone look? Should I get some gum? Why did I wear glasses today. Contacts. Always go for contacts. I can’t do this. I can’t do this. I can’t do this. Okay, stop talking crazy. You already set up the meeting. What would Beyoncé do? 

*Shake it off.*

What if they say no? Will they hold it against me? Have I been here long enough? Will I seem greedy? Is this the right time? I mean, I thought that when we had that conversation a week ago, that was the right time. Now, it’s really not the right time. But this is my last chance, isn’t it? It’s now or never right? Omg. Where are my notes.  

*Stay calm.*

I mean, what is the guy in sales making? How much is my manager making? No, that’s not relevant. If they say no, would I want to keep this job? Does that mean they don’t value me in the team? I wonder whether they see the work I’m doing. What if I’ve kept my head down too much? Can they really not afford to pay me more? Will my boss respect me if I settle and don’t negotiate?

*You know what. I’ve got this.*

I wish I didn’t have to do this but I’ve got to. I love my job and I know I do it well. What are my strengths. I’m passionate. I’m smart. I’m loyal. I get things done. I like my team. And they like me (I’m pretty sure). So, this is what’s going to happen. I’m going to walk in there and ask for what I feel I’m worth. I won’t worry about whether I’m too friendly or too serious, I’m just going to be me. And if it doesn’t go the way I thought it would, I’m sure I’ll know what to do. 

*Check the clock.*

*3. 2. 1.*

*Let’s go.*